argh!!! how unlucky can one be? and today's not even friday the 13th!

woke up this morning feeling like a bus had hit me the night before... really haven't been sleeping well.. end up running late for sch..

went downstairs to find myself missing the bus... then.. found myself in the morning jam when i took the next bus..

suppose to meet my friend halfway to sch to hitch a ride as i was carrying something bulky.. but had to call her to cancel it cos i'm stuck in the jam.. but.. i got out of the jam after putting down the phone..

i got down my bus to find that i missed the other bus that was suppose to take me to sch..

so i went to take a cab at the other side.. to find myself in a queue of 8 ppl and having to stand there with a box and a strong need to pee..

when i got into the cab.. i see an extra $2 charge on the meter and realised that it was peak period charge..

then.. the cab driver took me back into the jam that i came out from.. and the only two traffic lights that i passed turn red upon seeing me arriving..

so.. a cab fare that usually cost $4 ended up being $7.. and i was an hour late for sch..

wat a day..

oh.. and i just found out that.. actually i did not have to bring speakers..

class gatherings are more interesting than u think they would be..


had some very interesting updates on my sec sch classmates..

the 'could-have-been's in life..

there are so many possibilities.. but they will never occur cos the moment has passed..

feels good to think that the ppl then could possibly be thinking of passing me a position that i would never have thot that i would be considered or have qualities that can succeed the role..

haha, but there is no way to find out if it is true.. it remains as a possibility..

synchronicity.. i remember reading about it in a book.. a very interesting concept..

looking thru my life, it seems like there really is synchronicity in it.. that is leading me to somewhere..

a pseudoscience.. a theory by Jung..

think about it.. things happening in our life for a reason and having a meaning / learning pt behind it.. sometimes.. giving us a sense of deja vu..

finally got to meet up with vi after so many months..

haha, this is the first time she has to wait for me to find a free slot to meet up, usually i wait to see when is her free slot.. guess i am turning into a busy woman like her..

it just feels so great to sit and talk over dinner and then coffee.. we are never ending.. haha.. if we have 24hrs, we probably would have chatted for that long..

i don't know how it got started but.. meeting up during hols has become a ritual for us.. a must at least every half a yr.. it's like consolidating wat has happened in our lifes and then sharing it with each other... sharing insights to the things we have seen, heard, felt and experienced... an enriching experience to have..

vi, though u have heard it before.. you are my buddy in life.. without you, i probably will have no one to evaluate myself with.. and no one who is so honest and open to talk to..

and sometimes i wonder if that day in camp, had my buddy not left and had ur buddy not injured her foot, would i have said wat i said to u to another person.. and then act upon it and shared it with the rest..

it was one of THE moments in life... a big cliff and u led me to make a jump off that cliff.. and i thank u for that..


sorry for complaining so much during dinner.. haha.. know u have alot of complains too.. next time k? next time i shut up and u complain...

i wonder how am i going to survive without u for one yr when u leave for australia.. very hard to complain on msn.. must fly back every half a yr and meet up with me hor..

CORS is a pain in the s. argh!!

why some smart ppl come up with such a smart system???

how how how?? too little pts too many things to bid for..

wat sim teck ngee warned about in intro to psych really coming true... i am going bankcrupt!!

how how how? die...


and... body will most probably say, 'breathe'.

"Anything But Ordinary" -avril lavigne Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh myself to sleep It's my lullaby Sometimes I drive so fast Just to feel the danger I wanna scream It makes me feel alive Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breath? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please To walk within the lines Would make my life so boring I want to know that I Have been to the extreme So knock me off my feet Come on now give it to me Anything to make me feel alive Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breath? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please I'd rahter be anything but ordinary please. Let down your defences Use no common sense If you look you will see that this world is a beautiful accident turbulent suculent opulent permanent, no way I wanna taste it Don't wanna waste it away Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh my self to sleep It's my lullaby Is it enough? Is it enough? Is it enough to breath? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please Is it enough? Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please I'd rather be anything but ordinary please. yup.. anything but ordinary

argh!! why i got preallocated!

haha.. to think that i was still complaining that i couldn't get preallocation yesterday..

but yar.. very frustrating.. cos... so many psych modules i want to take! i want emotions cos the lecturer seems fun... i want health psy cos it is no longer dr why... i want lab in applied cos.. cos.. my body and gang are taking.. good to do project with.. i want bio cos everyone i know is doing it liao.. i want adolescent psy cos i like it and planned to take it long time ago..

and on top of that got jap lang 2 and sw's counselling..

sian.. sian.. sian.. thanks to my body for telling me about applied after module pref..

ok.. set.. i take jap, sw, bio... then i see how it goes with bidding for lab in applied.. if ok, i take. if not ok, i take adolescent..

hope i can see body and gang at applied! cross fingers..

didn't manage to go for lemon tea and leisure read as planned.. wat in life goes as planned?



need to watch where i sit next time...



why can't ppl just get wat each other is trying to say?



i think i always say the wrong things at the wrong time..




why are there so many ppl asking me out for dinner.. really don't feel like entertaining them..

a qn that has been bugging me for quite some time..

is it that no one can find qns to ask me or is it that they think their qns will not be ans-ed?

no qns to ask cos i am too transparent or i'm so opaque that i don't know that i am...

qns not ans-ed cos they think the qn is too much for me or that they think i will not ans..

answers anyone?

oh my goodness.. i concussed straight after i blogged..

only meant to lie down and rest for awhile cos my hair was still wet.. haha

i didn't realise that i had a bump on my head until i washed hair just now.. must be last night's knock on eil's cupboard..


on hindsight.. just now i ate food too fast too much..

sitting in eil's room blogging while the three of them are sleeping so soundly is an interesting experience..

almost zonked out last night.. how i managed not to k.o. and could still continue talking to them till six in the morning, i have no idea..

but now i know that when i'm almost drunk, i start talking louder.. actions exaggerated as if i lost control of the extent which i extend my arms and legs.. i keep having the urge to go toilet.. head spinning.. having strong need to sleep.. while maintaining a clear mind.. i could have solved maths problems if they had given any for me to solve..

alot of thots were exchanged last night... haha.. think i talked quite alot... but nothing much of scandalous sorts.. so u folks out there who are interested to know wat went on last night, no juicy gossips to hear.. wahaha.. at least i don't remember any that i hadn't already known..

we were supposedly going to have brunch and go home after that.. but they thot i concussed when i didn't and they end up being the ones that concussed on me.. hence this blog post.

definitely in for the next round of booze and talk..

' Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - this is not easy.'

-Aristotle


a real challenge indeed.. how many can achieve that?

from a friend's msn nick..

'stupidity is necessary.. ignorance is essential.. acting blur is the key'


don't you agree to that statement?

haha.. cheryl's advert for me...

"looking for well-to-do straight man, reasonably attractive, ready to settle down, so that KT can go w cheryl to milan n paris fashion week, n shop to our hearts content for the rest of our lives... interested in financing shopping spree while getting married, please contact/tag .........for more details"


ps. and cannot look like a cao gay in front of friends

i've just realised how much time i have spent with boss..

for today...

12midnight to 4.30am on msn
11am to 12midnight in sch

so... total of 18.5hrs of chatting, talking, discussing, gossiping, eating, thinking......

haha.. that's alot.. and think we haven't finish talking sia..


i shall not go and count how many hrs i've spent with her since hols started... scared it might go into guinness book of records..

sometimes when i think about it.. i am in awe how time flies..

a friend commented that we have known each other for five yrs.. and i was thinking.. how could it be? didn't i just got to know him in jc? haha.. jc seemed like it was yesterday.. unknowingly time has slipped me by...

what have i been doing these past yrs? honestly i can't remember that clearly.. but memories that were made throughout these yrs are worth remembering a lifetime..

thank you all for leaving footprints in my life

hey, interesting stuff.. check it out.. http://memoryedge.com/index_flash.html

i'm a balanced brain user.. 80% visual.. haha.. didn't know that..


kept seeing portions of the qns and my personal review cos of the wonderful leaky part on the screen of my laptop.. argh

i feel like i have alot of things to do.. but also nothing to do at the same time..

think i'm suffering from post-camp stress-less disorder..

last night we had camp comm dinner at a japanese fusion restaraunt and i asked the waitress..

'what soup do you have?'


erm.. haha.. yar... the brain turning into a body..

~另一张脸~ 孙燕姿

刮了一阵大风 莫名其妙变天
无缘无故心情灰
站在窗前 感觉就算世界少了我
其实也无所谓
蠢蠢欲动黑暗那一面
不停的在变形 吞掉我的极限
陷在又冷又黑的悲观里 就像出现另一张脸

看着这张陌生的脸 自己都讨厌
觉得心情起伏不定 没有人了解
觉得孤独像大声哭 觉得活好累
觉得一切一切全都虚伪

我想像个傻子一样 笑着过一天
想要看到你的微笑 相信有明天
想要留下每一分钟 快乐的感觉
偏偏这张脸 在我意志脆弱无奈又胡思乱想害怕时就出现
不了解 看不见 灰的脸 我的脸

______________________________________

很喜欢这首歌... 因为它很清楚地描写我的感受。

i don't get my family.. it seems that either... they derive happiness from throwing temper.. or they simply have no eq and needs anger management courses..

everything seems wrong when i'm at home.. did i do anything wrong to deserve outbursts from my family? i don't know.. but all i know is that one min i was peacefully alone at home, then the next min, everyone comes home and start shouting at me..

and u expect me to always be at home... for wat? to be the chu qi tong for u all to fa xie?

and u wonder why i love being with my friends more then being with family..

i've always been a good daughter.. u may not think so.. but i am.. compared to the millions of kids out there..

my patience is running out..

why does it rain shit everyday?

it's very interesting how friendship grows.. sometimes when u least expect...

things happen, and suddenly, ppl who never knew each other got pulled together..

then memories start to form and wala, a new friend found..

and it grows with every small things that u share..

openness and trust... loyalty.. care and concern..

frisson time!!


ok.. found the spelling for it.. frisson..

i will find my frisson some day..

haha.. this is so fun!!

ignoring boss for 10 mins.. she cannot stand it liao.. think she is going to go mad.. the brain not responding to her..

hahahha.. shall do this more often..

my brain getting too stressed up by all the scandals flying everywhere after the camp.. too many to keep track of and suan ppl..

suddenly i feel so happy that i am no scandal generator or scandal target..

top of my list.. the blue black scandal.

felt like writing a thank you note..

i don't believe that when an event is over, it must be the chair of the event who does it.. ppl might say the chair is suppose to write one but i disagree.. i think that if an event runs smoothly everyone should be feeling thankful and not just the chair..

so.. here i am writing a thank you note for i am thankful that the event ended well and that so many ppl helped and gave support thru out these few weeks and months..

don't really know where to start cos it really is a long list.. don't think i'll be putting names down cos i scared i might leave out some...


firstly, really thank all the ppl who have volunteered to join the planning comm.. without this bunch of ppl, there would not have been a psych camp.. though we have disagreements, misperceptions and miscommunications during preparation for camp, i am still glad that we have made it thru and really, the event would not have been successful without everyone's contribution..

i would also like to thank the ppl who helped me with nus open house.. thanks for spending so much time to set up the booth when me, the ic, was at my friend's house celebrating her b'dae.. sorry about that.. and those ppl who volunteered to station at the booth to promote the camp..

also very thankful for having ppl helping to design our poster.. thanks for all the comments and suggestions that led to our o-so-nice poster.. and of course must thank the person who risk spoiling his reputation to be on a poster with a psycho word on it..

must say thanks to ppl who have helped out in arts open house... boss's friends for designing cool flyers.. ppl who were roped in last min to decorate the place.. ppl who had to endure standing there talking and listening to longwinded and kiasu parents..

totally thankful for ppl who are not in planning comm but gave their hundred and ten percent to helping us make sure that the event will go on smoothly... booking places for us... helping us pack goodie bags... running errands for us.. lending us equipments, expertise and skills..

a big thanks to everyone who volunteered as facils and those who came back to help despite work commitments, attachments, other commitments... if you all were not there to help out, it would not have been a successful camp.. thanks for being ra ra when u were tired, for leading the groups under the hot sun, for providing such a wonderful camp experience to bring home..

another bunch of ppl to thank are the campers.. without u, all the preparation was for nothing.. thanks for coming to camp... for being so enthu.. for just being there and signing up for the camp.. for telling us that the camp was great and u have enjoyed it.. also, thank all my friends who went for camp cos i asked them to..

finally, i'd like to thank the logistics gals for working so hard during camp.. know u all took alot of shit and were all stressed up and sleep deprived.. the progs for executing the activities out so well and giving the campers such a good time despite being new at doing all these.. thank my lovely admin team who gave me so much laughter and joy when i was down and when things go wrong..

and, finally de finally.. thank you boss. you have gone the extra mile for everyone.. you have always put others' feeling and well being before your own.. i think you are the greatest person of all and you have done really well.. give yourself credit for all these k? u brought success to the camp, bonding people who never knew each other before together and starting something new.. really thankful that i have known you and really glad that i have worked with you... learnt alot from you.. you have done well and led well.. don't doubt that.. and.. haha, ok lar, i admit.. u have brain lar.. don't need me to be yours... maybe someday you could be my brain..

love all of u..

forgot to add...

when i was on my way home yesterday.. i missed my bus stop.. only to realise it when i woke up seven stops later.. then.. when i was crossing the road to get to the bus that will take me back to my home, i dropped my laptop and missed the bus..

now.. i have another crack on my laptop... argh... need to buy one soon...

1-6-1-2-20

that's how much i've slept from sunday to today..

alot of things happened in these 4 days. good ones, bad ones, crazy ones, stoned ones, angry ones, happy ones, blur ones, clear ones.. don't know if i can finish talking about them.. maybe i should summarize but such a pity to do so..

so let me try this..


day prior to camp

had admin meeting again just before camp starts as we still have things unsettled for the camp.. it ended quite late with me and boss leaving to buy things she needed for camp.

got home and started packing.. a little irritated cos couldn't find something monochrome to wear for finale night.. everyone's cursing and swearing about the theme.. haha, i thot it was cool at first but when it's time to find things to wear for it..

anyway.. continued to do admin stuff online.. updating stuff and preparing for camp.. and before i knew it, it was 3 plus 4 in the morning and i was still doing the stuff and shar was still at camper's booklet.. and boss went offline.. think she concussed without packing her bag for camp.


day 0

had alot of things to settle before the campers come.. comm tees to be collected, gifts to be bought, money to be collected, things to be updated, booklets to be printed, name tags to be made, facis to be oriented..

a hectic day..

was glad that eil, me and shar had the opportunity to go out of sch to run some errands.. eat some meat balls and rest our tired mind and body for awhile..

i still couldn't believe that i slept for 3 hrs in the function hall with ppl walking in and out of it.. i hope no one took photos of me.. and didn't knew i could still ans ppl in my sleep.. haha.. felt a bit guilty that i was sleeping while the rest were making the name tags..


day 1

woke up feeling like a train rammed into me the night before.. was almost late for reg of campers...

the whole reg process was.. f-ed up.. i don't usually swear but it sucked.. everything's a mess.. there was no one to be at the pick up point... ppl were randomly grabbed to pick campers up and it took a long time to get ppl to the hall.. and.. i messed up.. got some money lost.. argh.. really started on a bad note..

the good thing that happened was that the schedule was kept to and everything flowed smoothly till dinner time.. and i had a chance to go wargames and had a water gun shoot out session with boss and the rest..

heard my hypers were on a lossing streak.. felt a little bad that i wasn't there to give encouragement and support..

then came the major screw up of the day... the sp night.. think it's like a curse.. last year the same thing happened..

that segment dragged... and fright night preparation dragged even more too.. everyone seemed tired out before fright night could even start.. but i had a chance to join my hypers for a chat.. though.. it seemed like every conversation i entered ended after i said something.. ark.. haha, felt so weird cos i didn't had the chance to know them..

fright night was uneventful.. didn't get anyone scared... don't know if it is because of the fatigue that was setting in or that this batch of campers are not ghost fearing or maybe our ghosts were not scary enuf..

after that, everyone went back to bed except.. of course.. the planning comm.. everyone was alittle cranky cos of the screw ups that happened now and then through out the day and also due to the lack of sleep..

was so amazed that despite all these, boss could still keep her cool.. i really pei fu..


day 2

was woken up by the urgent banging on my room door.. seeing no one there.. i went next door to boss's room thinking that it might had been her. saw her sitting up in bed looking like she was about to puke..

anyway, she laid back down in bed and i sat at the bedside waiting for her to tell me why was she looking for me.. i waited and waited.. and then... she fell asleep.. ark.. *faint*... this is the second time someone fell asleep on me..

later on.. she puked and i puked too.. haha, we really are connected sia... when the body puke, the brain also puke.. a horrible feeling.. wasn't able to puke out much cos there wasn't anything in the stomach to puke out in the first place..

think boss was highly stressed out by the talking seesion that was pretty much screwed up cos first, we didn't get a location for our talk, second, there was no lecturer free to give the talk..

the whole admin team was like a bunch of zombies walking around thru out the day.. glad that we took a break and played with hair dye (that had no effect on my hair.. argh.. still a bit pissed that i couldn't get purple hair while boss could..) and nua-ing for awhile in the hall..

finale dinner, i bet, would have been voted the most screwed up thing that happened in camp.. seating plan was given too late to the restaurant, dinner started at 9? or 9 plus? everyone was pissed.. i was highly pissed and i think i pissed some ppl off.. me and shar missed dinner cos we went back hall to get money to pay for the food.. sorry dear.. cos of me you missed dinner.. but we had a great chat while waiting for the bus didn't we?

miraculously, finale night did not over run and we managed keep everyone relativly happy throughout dinner..

think i lost my mind after finale.. was running amok on the streets, shouting and laughing like nobody's business.. had a great time teasing eil, think shar and i make a good tag team at it.. was babbling non stop after i went back to my room.. think i scared away far and jus.. hahahaha.. couldn't stop talking..

then later.. a whole gang of ppl came over to my room.. it was a suprise as i wasn't expecting so many ppl, and them giving me my belated presents at such an ungodly hour.. in camp some more.. they had wanted me to believe that they were giving me a vibrator that was longer than 15 inch.. but they forgot.. i'm the brain... of course didn't fall for their trick... it ended up being a bolster-like pighead shaped cushion that vibrated when it is on-ed.. had a great chatting and gossiping session.. with some scandalous gossips.. like bah kwa and such..

the night (or should i say the day?) didn't end there.. managed to catch my hypers at the fong seng for prata... very funny bunch.. was laughing away at them teaing kim cos she couldn't get black magic... or.. 'sugar' magic.. or 'earthworm' magic.. and also 'kim' magic... haha, she's so cute... and funny.. then we 'hiked' to west coast mac for soccer session... didn't know that so many ppl like watching soccer at mac.. the place was flooded with ppl.. very interesting to observe ppl when they watch soccer.. their expressions were so funny!

anyway, i left early and ta pao-ed some mac back for jus, oli and boss.. chatted about wat happened for the past few days and after oli left we had our own bitching session.. didn't know we could bitch so much till we realised that ppl who went to mac had starting coming back after the soccer match.. and eil who had initially wanted to sleep after watching the soccer match joined us when she heard we were having bitching session.. hahha


day3

it rained..

luckily there was no rain before that.. otherwise don't know wat we sould have done if it had rained.. boss will probably have a heart attack and i might have follow suit..

ribbon ceremony was emotional... i couldn't articulate wat i felt clearly enuf.. everything came out in bits and pieces.. too much had happened and too many emotions inside.. had really wanted to say all those out but.. also don't know wat to say and where to start..

but... everything ended well.. and i'm just glad and thankful that it did..

have been having meetings practically everyday.. siong ah..

everyday wake up feeling like being knocked down by a bus...

anyway, now i am classified bimbotic and i don't know how i got there in the first place.. i think being in the bimbo admin has some effects on me.. apparently kenna infected by their bimbo virus.. with boss.. eil.. py..shar.. it is enuf to make anyone bimbotic. hahahahaha..

i cannot stand admin meeting liao.. we eat and eat, then keep laughing at bimbotic statements coming out from everyone's mouth.. so now, i'm broke, fat and bimbotic... haha, oops.. is it possible to be fat and bimbotic?

haha, but it is theraputic lar..

we came to a conclusion that we cannot make it liao.. so end up tmr's meeting is at botanic gardens so that we can walk walk and finish up our admin stuff we have to prepare for camp.. but i have strong suspicion we'll end up at some cafe inside and eat like crazy..