the whole bus interchange blackout on me... even the street lamps at the bus parking space were out..

good thing it's me.. imagine shar being there... she will totally freak out..

i know i should be preparing to go to sch and that there's alot of other things to do but.. haha.. i happen to be surfing the net and i stumbled upon a forum that's discussing a very interesting qn.. a qn that shar would like to know the ans to..


Below is an edited version of the whole thread...

What is the real difference between being friends and being a couple? I'm not asking what is different about being a coupe vs friends but what differences lead to either one. Is it love? If so what does that even mean? Or is the only difference between good friends and a couples sexual attraction? Or is it something more?

I've never had a girlfriend or any good girl friends.
I have many good guy friends, I really like them, could I say I love them? I would do just about anything for them and trust them with my life. Though I have no sexual attraction to them. So is having a girlfriend like that except there is sexual attraction?


There is more to being in a relationship than just being freinds who have sex.
There is an extra element... its indescribable... but its best summed up by "commitment and passion".

I think being a couple is essentially being good friends, having sex, and romantic love, which usually proceeds from the other two.

The love you have for your guy friends isn't quite the same. It is similar, but the sexual attraction does play a major role.

I sometimes wonder if romantic love is just our psychological/cultural way of dealing with lust, but that's another discussion altogether.

the real difference between all types of relationships, professional, business, friends, intimate, romatic.... etc... etc...

EXPECTATIONS...

intensity of your relationship depends on that... thus the end result... depends on that as well.... joy, happiness, pain or sadness, etc.... are the end results...

you have different expectations from a friend than when he/she is your bf/gf... so your reactions to the end result will be different...

example.. you don't have a right to be jealous when your friend sees someone else or cancel your plan with her/him... you can be jealous-ed but you can't show that to him/her... but if she/he is your gf/bf... you'll be mad on top of your head...

The most tangible difference is the sex. The hardest difference to describe is the love.

If you aren't getting sex though, you are just "great friends" and are free to sleep with whomever you please. Unless you are head over heels in love (hence, difficult to describe) don't remain more than friends with someone who doesn't give you sex. Trust me.

____________
opinions from different ppl...

the whole convo reminded me of the time at starbucks in vivo where me, nott and nanana had a similar convo about this topic...

i still stand by my view that sexual attraction is a big factor in r/s that go beyond friendship..

i think with that i can safely say i'm sorry to all non heterosexuals that are out there who have a crush on me (not like there are anyone who has a crush on me.. but still, i sometimes also like to think of myself as queen of the world..), this gal here not attracted to gals in any physical way... so shar... stop qn-ing my orientation... hahaa...

well.. the last line was the main pt.. ahahhahaha.. oh yar.. and i hope the thread i posted gives u something to think about..

"Fall To Pieces" - Avril Lavigne

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

[Chorus:]
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you

You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

[Chorus]

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means

Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything

[Chorus without last line]

[Chorus]

I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

Sarah McLachlan - Full of Grace

The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love

-----

it's a song in last episode of buffy season 2... went to find it cos it's nice..

wat a nice surprise to discover that it's one of sarah mclachlan's song.. i've always liked her songs..

my gosh... another scandal has been created.. and i... am an innocent victim..

oh well... some harmless laughing would do some ppl good..

karma bah... who ask me to keep teasing ppl.. now i guess it's pay back time..



all i can say is that... words can easily be misinterpreted.. beware of wat u say...

my parents bought so much canned food that i almost thot that we are going to have a famine or something in sg...

i am so going to stay at home with my campbell soup, ham, cheese, egg, bread, maggie, longan, tuna, etc...

so unhealthy... but... i like..

i always seem to be at a lost when someone is in dire need of comforting..

maybe it stems from the fact that i'm not used to being comforted by ppl.. i self comfort.. if there's such a term..

who's better than the self to understand one's situation and know exactly wat needs to be 'said' to get one out of the doldrums, anger or hurt..

and half the time i find it tiring to explain to a kind friend who wants to help cheer me up.. cos some just couldn't get wat i'm trying to tell them.. or rather.. wat i hope they infer from wat i tell them..

everyone reacts differently to different situations and have different values and beliefs which leads them to different thots and opinions...

it's possible to predict a friend's reaction to an issue.. but it comes with a relatively deep understanding of the friend, some amount of guesswork and a little bit of luck.. it is never hundred percent accurate..

that's why i always opt for self healing... but of course, an occasional chat with friends about my issues tend to bring up some interesting new perspective to the issue which may lead me to resolving them quicker..

it's quite interesting listening to a group of old ppl talk about kids... how to raise them... abt the problems that they have with their kids... their perspectives give me a wider view abt being a parent, a sibling and a cousin...

the approaches range from plain old fashioned scoldings and punishments to reasoning and being a friend to the kid..

though opinions differ.. it was a good exchange of thots..


____

dont think i'll be aiding them with their preaching plans... but i might be able to help with being a friend to the kids..

sometimes kids just need ppl to talk to... to have someone listen to them.. someone to share their triumphs and worries..

time to look for a real job...