change is here again.. and i am not adapting as quietly to it as i used to.. it seems like this company keeps bringing out different sides of me that i have never known..

this time round it's terrifying and exciting at the same time seeing how people react to this new side of me.. and also, to flex that muscle that i never knew i had, has been exhilarating.. i'm not sure if it is a "right way" to handle, but it's first time in my life that i find that i'm not just bending to the winds as they sweep into my life..  

to be able to see the wind as it is and finding a way to harness it's strength is totally something new.. and to be fearless in what lies ahead, opens up a lot of possibilities.. it is the first time that i am anticipating what will happen and actively taking steps to meet the challenges head on..

with it also came a lot of unidentifiable emotions that sprang up and i am still learning how to deal with them.. there is an underlying unhappiness/irritation that seems to spill on to my daily life.. there is also a brashness that accompany the way i talk which i do not appreciate.. and sometimes melancholy creeps in at the most random moments.. probably a result of the loss of my spontaneous and carefree nature.. probably cos sometimes i find myself a little too mercenary with the way i see and plan for things nowadays.. the pure desire to just give and service is lost.. for now.. i hope..