it's weird to be dreaming of you.. it's been years since i've last seen you.. but you have been in my dreams the past two nights.. wat does it mean?

do dreams really try to tell us something? or is my subconscious mind trying to tell me something?

it's time to stop the bumming and do something..

sometimes you can't have it all in life.. so it all depends on what is most impt to you and what you are willing to give up for it.

is this a pessimistic view of life? can one truly have it all? i wonder..

is it settling for lesser if we view life that way when we could have more if we dare to dream bigger?

being contented and satisfied with what we have vs striving for better and more rewarding life...

i guess a balance would be good..

I feel this right now..

It is such an irony to receive your concern now that we are no longer friends.. when the reason why I decided to stop being friends with you was becos of your lack of concern..

When I need it the most, it didn't come.. when I turn my head and walk away... it is given to me.. but it is too little too late.. n receiving it now only makes me sad..

it feels like a roller coaster ride..

one day i'm up.. another day i'm down.. but there's something that doesn't leave you when you are strapped on to the roller coaster..

the fear and the anticipation of the next turn..

how long can someone stay in a roller coaster locked in by fear or.. elated by the rush of the winds?

i think i have hit and surpasss my limit.. to burst out crying more than 3 times in the span of 2 days is totally a new record for me.

is this healthy? i ask myself.. is this wat i want? is this wat i'm willing to put myself through? is this how life is supposed to be? is this how we build ourselves to be better people? is it masochistic? when do i know enuf is enuf? or is there an enuf? or life is just about constantly stretching yourself? where will we end up? how far to stretch? wat is the reward? wat am i living for? am i happy?

many many many questions popped into my head these days.. on some days.. i just want to throw everything away and heck it.. other days.. i wish i had a brick in my hand so that i can smash people's head with it.. and there are also some days whereby i find the strength to carry on what i'm doing..

so wat does it mean then? where do i go now?

to love u more.. by celine dion.. cool.. rach berry really nail it.

today is a very frustrating day.

fed up with everything and everyone.

angsty mood.

It's sad when people look at u n only see their past impressions of you.. it's almost like the "current" me does not exist.

And to some people, it seems like I don't exist at all. Hah.

Learning to be P.

Argh. Still cannot stand sensitive people.

It really feels like being thrown away like a used tissue paper.

Regardless of the reasons that u may have.. it was totally uncalled for. There are many ways to do it.

Disappointed.

Time to be mature n professional. I can do it this time round.

I guess.. that's it then..

Wishing that I'm staying near water.. so calming.

风好凉。 心情好平静。希望天天都能如此。

原来我是如此的享受一个人的生活。

心里虽然有些想要的，但是能接受未必能得到的结果。人生不过如此。。只要学会接受，很多东西都能看开。这当然并不代表我对生活失去憧憬，失去方向。。我只是多了一份从容去面对。

The morning breeze enveloped me.. It feels great to be home alone.. without a care in mind..

Enjoying the little things in life..

And maybe a walk later..

I used to wonder whether I will be able to handle the adversities that life may throw at me.. having watched so many dramas, its not surprising to wonder that and I think Korean n Taiwanese long dramas gave us even more creative ideas of what are the adversities that we may face in the future.

But I have come to realize that wondering is not productive. That we should take time and effort to build the courage n the resilience to pull through the adversities that we may face.. starting with the tiny problems, discomforts, unhappiness, pressures etc.. step by step, like building a muscle to let it be able to take up more weight.

Then when the day arrived to face the adversities, we can face them with confidence, wisdom and grace.

Apparently, people see me as a person who is sensitive to criticism. Is it only them? Or there others who feel the same as well? Have I truly become the sensitive person whom they say I am? Or is it just a misperception?

Always on the low priority list.

Is there an upgrade available?

Someone once told me.. remember the reasons why you are working towards your goal for you will be tested many times. These reasons will be the only things that get you thru the bad days and propel you to reach your goal.

I finally understand wat it really means. Time to dig deep to find my reasons that will get me through the bad days.

learning.

believe can come subtly and leave subtly

if you know y, there is no shortage of how

stay around to be willing to grow and change

change is fun when it's done

love is not enuf, but love is a start

self talk, soul talk

it's the information in the book that is impt

will i do this? will i learn? it's not a can qn. it's not a talent.

get control of ur thots or it will control u


if it has become route and routine, it's time to change.

some things in your life that happen for you and you think that it has happened to you.

once you have your dreams, your priorities start to fall in line

you have to be the guard of the gate to the thots that come in your mind

wat they think of me dont matter, wat i think of me matters.

sometimes we dont want to be too quick with the answers, sometimes they just need to be heard.

we do make mistakes but we can change.

wat is impt? wat is the last thing you want said about you?

wherever you put the spotlight is where you will look.

its up to me

decision and sacrifice.