knowing, doing, accepting and believing are four different things..

omg.. just realised that the dream i had a few weeks ago really came true... freaky...

can i please dream that money fall from the sky and onto my lap? lol... nice, good looking and rich guy will do just as well.. ahahhaha...

there's still alot of things that i don't understand..

been in a cranky and prickly mode lately.. sigh..

am i losing it?

really tired..

everything will move downhill from here.. we shall see.. i'm seldom wrong.. maybe my dreams are prophetic after all..

frustrated. how to make ppl understand without talking to them?

written words are so inadequate when the command of langauge is not good.

i have suddenly realised that i've lost alot of friends throughout the years.. why? wat happened? is there something wrong with me? will i ever find out?

do u know why i want to understand ppl? it is just so that i won't hurt them.. won't hurt their good intentions won't hurt them with misunderstanding.. i know it hurts to be misunderstood.. when ppl don't understand me, it makes me feel alone in this world.. i don't want ppl to feel like this.. it's a terrible feeling to have..

does it make me too invasive, breaching ppl's defenses? does it make me a busybody who don't know when to back off? or does it make me look like a manipulator who is digging for secrets? maybe it is so in others' eyes.. so disheartening.. is there no good that ppl can do for one another? or just that ppl don't believe in anything anymore?

i seem to always meet ppl who keep doing things that they think are good for me. but i'm not sure i want wat they are giving me.

maybe that's wat i have been doing to ppl too. maybe the manisfestation of my care and concern is not wat they need.

can't ppl just ask wat other ppl want before they give it to them?

but then again, how many ppl can answer honestly and directly when being asked?

and how many ppl when given a reply, truly believe the answer that was given?

ppl are just so screwed up. including me. great.

there can be no substitution..

transference.. is it good or bad? or are we just setting ourselves up for disappointment?

been feeling out of sorts recently..

hmmm...

anyway... an interesting topic of discussion came up.. am i a person who has an inclination to rely on or place too much value on emotion, aka heavily sentimental person.

i have always believe that i am a person who lives by logic.. and to me, right and wrong is more important than how close the person is in relation to me..

but of course, there have been ocassions that prove otherwise.. totally illogical to the point of ridiculous.. so... am i confused? disillusioned? or just being a gemini? lol..

but according to the below... i am.

重感情的人有这种习惯来源
⒈ 总会把事情想得很长久
⒉ 喜欢黑夜 习惯晚睡
⒊ 很固执 不懂得放弃 但一旦放弃了就绝不会回头
⒋ 在别人面前笑得很开心 一个人旳时候却很漠落
⒌ 在陌生人面前很安静 在朋友面前胡闹
⒍ 喜欢写字 阅读
⒎ 莫名地孤单 无法抗拒的恐惧感
⒏ 不爱说话 很爱说话
⒐ 心情不好旳时候 却喜欢听悲歌
⒑ 容易满足 更容易受伤
⒒ 习惯了沉默 在沉默中爆发或者选择灭亡
⒓ 习惯保留自己 因为只有这样在离开旳时候 心才不会痛
⒔ 不相信童话 却一直期待会有个真正懂得自己保护自己旳人出现
⒕ 喜欢怀旧 之后感到深深旳寂寞 恐惧
⒖ 一点点事就胡思乱想 想到戏剧般旳吓人
⒗ 付出旳远远超过得到旳
⒘ 坐在电脑前 不知道做什么 却又不想关掉它
⒙ 觉得世界上每一个人都不可靠 但却还是那样地选择相信别人
⒚ 不习惯一个人莫名其妙地消失在自己旳生命中
⒚ 心事放在心底，有一个自己的世界文章来源于
⒚ 总有一种被忽视的感觉, 偶尔会有种想消失的念头

wat are we working towards?

wat do i want?

is it selfish to live for ourselves or foolish to live for others?