Have I suffered a burnout? Have I experienced burnout before but didn't realise it was one? Am I still suffering from burnout?

I have a bad feeling that it's a resounding yes.

Did I really recuperate or I just escaped from the problem every time that I had the chance to?

And I fear the burnouts were one and the same..

Wat should I do?

I read something on fb today.. good read.

AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked, “How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” in all seriousness, she answered, “How do you know?”

“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.

Here is the answer:

Every relationship has a cycle.. In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it is called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” and as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistakes about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: Fate brings people into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go.

Wat I would give to talk to someone..

Someone who understands.. someone who does not want me to make the decision that they want me to make.. someone who will guide me and help me to make the choice with my eyes wide open..

Will that someone pls appear right now? For I have never needed you more in my life..

Evaluation time.. or should I say decision making time? Headache.

There are some things that are out of your control to change and it's time to move on before you become a bitter person.

But some people believe that you will need to cultivate skills to handle the things you cannot change.

So which do you subscribe to?

sometimes i think.. i'm too frank for my own good.

it does not help that i also do not hide the emotions i feel..

do i really need to learn how to hide myself? can't i live an honest life?

It had not been a happy renovation period. The cracks that had formed all these years underneath the beautiful facade started to show once put to the test.

Greatly saddened, hurt and disappointed.

Words have a lot of power. I am reminded once again.

I don't like to see a self harm in progress. Some ignorance might do me some good. It's really none of my business how ppl live their lives.

Sigh.. why do I always meet such ppl?

Is there fairness here? I have to say there isn't.

27年来第一次有人用'脆弱'来形容我。

其实还蛮贴切的。说真的, 面对我在意的事的时侯, 我的哭点其实很低。只是没有很多事情是我在意的, 所以也造成了很多人对我的误解。

在面对不被理解这一块, 我真的是特别脆弱, 也特别在意。

说真的, 被发现是一种解脱。虽然是我的经理发现的, 但是我很开心至少她是很清楚了解我的能耐。我不需在再背负着一些她对我不切实际的期望。轻松了很多。

This trip has taught me that I still get embarrassed and uneasy around strangers whom I have to interact with. And I realised that I have been letting myself stay in my comfort zone for too long. I have gotten too comfortable to move out of it and have started to fear the unknown.

Has the recent years been a regression? I don't want that to continue. Time to push myself!

You frustrate me to no end. The older you get, the worse it becomes.

Totally sums up my thots when I met my friend the other day.

Brennan: i went to see Sweets
Booth: y?
Brennan: bcos something is wrong with me
Booth: Bones, nothing is wrong with you
Brennan: no, i thot today when we apologise to each other that everything was fine
Booth: bcos we were being polite
Brennan: yes, we were polite but you still knew that everything wasn't fine
Booth: i was ah.. hoping that it would be.. you know, in the future
Brennan: but only if we admit that it isn't fine right now. Sweets said that i am subconsciously rebeling against the fact that my happiness is now contingent upon your happiness and christine's.

_____
sorry for the spoiler!

but i totally understood "only if we admit that it isn't fine right now"!

Was catching up with a friend yesterday on our recent experiences over dinner.

She was sharing her encounters of setting up her company, the obstacles she met and the people who aided her along the way.. and something struck me halfway thru our conversation. She has been taking a lot of actions to get her to where she wants to be and regardless how well thot thru or not her plans were, she believed that she could achieve the results that she wants. And even though some of the things that she encountered were unexpected, she manages to find ways to overcome them.

I think that's the difference between a thinker and a doer. It's not like she doesn't think, she does but she prefers actions than inaction after thot. And that is something I need to learn. My bro is right, I have a lot of thots in my head but they will just be thots if I don't do anything about them. I'm not a risk taker by nature and though I have learnt to be a calculated risk taker thruout the years, I still need to take more actions and with more urgency. I'm too contented and laid back. I need to change my mindset and find my drive. Time to step up my learning curve and my actions.

Dating Mistakes ‘Nice’ Guys Often Make

 Truth be told, most women feel a little strange going out with nice guys because they tend to appear too nice for their own good. The lack of apparent flaws makes them seem fake. These men play their games so safely that they forget to include a little danger or excitement that women so adore. In their desire to come across as nice, they often end up being too polite. Women are perceptive enough to catch such pretentions. Knowing that you’re pretending to be nice makes them wary of dating you anymore. Rather than trying to make an impression, nice guys should work on being desirable instead, to be able to keep their partner’s attention cemented.
________________________________

the above is a partial article from mensxp.com.

i thot that i was the only one who felt so, but apparently it's common. reading this article solved a question that has been at the back of my mind all these while. 

第一次，被人说我令人失望。 第一次，哑口无言。第一次，终于明白有些误会一旦不当场解释，会被更多的误会淹没。第一次，哭诉无门。伤心。

不被理解。不懂得如何解释自己。难过。

我本以为只要坦荡，诚恳，诚实的对待人生，就会活得开心，活得自在。可是，原来现在的人已经不能接受这样的生活方式。错愕。

我该如何是好？我又该何去何从？有谁能指点迷津呢？困惑。

It seems that I have the tendency to over pamper ppl. And I have been receiving the "fruits" of doing so.. I can't say that I don't deserve them..

By being so accommodating and accepting of behaviors that, frankly speaking, sometime should not be condoned, I have trapped myself in a situation whereby I cannot stop being accommodating and accepting. Well.. It's not really can't and it's not a chore to be accommodating and accepting. Just that there are times when I get tired and I am down on energy. I'm not perfect. I need break times. I also need ppl who can be accommodating and accepting to me as well. But obviously I have created relationships that do not allow me to have such enjoyment.

Maybe I'm really masochistic. Lol. But once in awhile, I would love to switch roles..

Then again, the optimistic side of me thinks that maybe these ppl also over pamper me to the point that I don't realise it as well. Maybe.. hopefully..

"朋友是我们的镜子，我们的记忆；我们对他们一无所求，只是希望他们时时擦亮这面镜子，让我们可以从中看看自己。" - 米兰.昆德拉

I believe most ppl make the mistake of letting someone who is good for us slip us by. And then we make the second mistake of holding on too tightly to the ppl who are sort of ok but not really good for us, out of fear of repeating the first mistake. Which finally cause us to miss out on the opportunity of meeting somebody who might make our lives great.