first thing.. i think i suck at hip hop.. no talent. wat to do?

no choice but to buck it up by practicing more lor. they say that if you don't have talent, you got to work hard, and work even harder than the rest.


second thing.. don't know if it can be call unlucky.

i walked the distance of two bus stops to go to a bus stop further down thinking that i'll have a better chance of getting a seat. and i did. but guess wat? my bus broke down after a couple of stops and the whole bus load of people have to alight to wait for the next bus.

well.. bottom line is i still got a seat, but in a even more crowded bus..

can say is fortunate in midst of unfortunate incident. bu xing zhong de da xing.


oh.. and another thing.... i think i got my mum pissed.. i have a '4 missed call', and it spells trouble. guess i deserve it huh~? who ask me not to inform her before time that i have lessons till 8pm..

school starts again.. second part of the sem..

time passes by so quickly that i wonder how much of wat i have done in uni life will i remember ten years down the road..

life's really too short, too short to waste.


counter of living: 25% per day for now..
(need to reach 100%. learning to live my life to the fullest.)

resolution for rest of sem after mid term break

no more mugging at swaps table and no more taking discussion rooms during mugging sessions..

finish reading my textbooks and stop lagging behind on work and readings. meet deadlines for work. no more procrastination. less games and story books.

smile more, stress less. be happy. be me.

i need a break real bad..
mental and physical one..
how i wish i can take off somewhere, with nothing to do, nothing to think about and just enjoy the moment.

sigh... why does my holiday suck?

i hate you!!!!!!!!!! i really do.

you suck big time at whatever you do, and i really feel like screaming it out in your face!

you are a lousy everything, and you think you are so great.

you are a god damn narcissist!!

you are such a spoilt brat! aren't you too old to be one???? grow up!

and if i can, i feel like saying that you are a SOB, but i shall not insult the lovely lady that gave birth to you.


though maybe someday, when you die, i might feel sad that you are gone forever....

a similar phrase was said by a character in a tv serial.. 'if the day comes when he dies and should i be feeling sad of his passing, that would be a big headache for me.' chinese version: ru guo you yi tian ta si hou wo hui shang xin, na wo ke jiu tou tong le...

hols from 16 - 25 sept

yes! mid term is starting!!!!! though i am happy for the break to be here, i have tonnes of things to do for this ten days of hols..

but first first thing on the list is lunching with ma tmr!! haha, a treat for myself for the start of hols and a treat for ma for taking such good care of us. and yup, i'm treating~.

then it'll be followed with:
-meetings with my event organising team
-searching up stuff for my project DONE
-catching up with my textbks (have 24 chapters to read. that's for lagging in sch for so long...)
-studying for my term tests
-watching webcaste for the lectures that i have missed
-going for Institute of Mental Health for a module's outing (my favorite task of the hols) DONE
-go for my sports buffet (no buffet, decided to give myself a break..)


that should be all.. do really want to finish them all. have already started planning. jia you!

where has it been?

there is this part of me that has been buried so long in my heart that i could not seem to find it anymore.

but still i feel its presence in my heart.

it is there, some place somewhere.

a part of me that yearn to have out.

a potential in me that is not unleashed.

a part of me that sometimes will come out and remind me who i am and wat i want to become...

so someone please help me. help me to get that part of me up cos it's choking me up inside.

new blogging method

typing on the go is cool, then i won't have to forget wat i want to write..

but it seeem like i think more when i'm walking.. which means it is impossible for me type it out and don't know why but i tend to think that i can't articulate wat i was thinking when i start typing.. shit.

what should i do? how i wish that there is some device that can just pick up my thots and write them down or record them, so that i will not forget the things that i have thot thru.. but don't think it is possible bah.

haha,maybe i will not like to too cos.. some of the things that i think of really shouldn't be let out of the confines of my brain. right..

reaching home liao.. hungry. type later bah..

to a someone long ago..

really want to say a word of thanks to you.

though i didn't say it and you probably still don't know why we went our separate ways, i really do appreciate the things you have done for me.

you have taught me alot too. i came to know what loving someone was like thru you.

you love not because the person has a pretty face or good dress sense, not because the person has a character of the typical kind nice sweet gal that people will like for a girl friend or a wife.

and you give alot and love alot, though i gave little and love little.

horror of horrors

oh no.. i have just realised that i have let my mum's words get into me..

girl who will look into the mirror and say, 'hey! that's a pretty girl there! quite good looking huh?!' is gone... the only thing i see now in the mirror is the imperfect, plain, fat me.. sigh..

why did it happen? i have always warned myself from believing and taking other's opinions seriously especially the negative ones.. but look wat happened? they all got into my stupid brain that just won't shut these things out.....

maybe.. maybe i have been harbouring these thots in my head all along.. maybe subconsciouly i have also been saying and believing that i am not good enuf, i am not good looking, no one would want me, no one wants to be my friend, i will never have ppl who will love and treasure me, i will never have happiness...

i don't know anymore.. when i am down and out.. all these thots will come and huant me, come and tempt me to believe that my life is doomed to be a lonely and unfulfilled one.. i would not know the end.. only time will tell..

but i really hope that i am a great person that i sometimes think i am, though egoistic. i hope that i can be the nice, good friendly, cheerful, optimistic person that ppl see in me. i want to be pretty. i want to be loved. ....is that too greedy?

alittle something..

some outline first:
there has been this program in singapore, which is something similar to the american idol show but is somewat different and is in chinese, that has been going on for a few motnths already and is said to have caused quite a huge stir in the usually perceived as quiet and passive singapore community.

my view:
i don't really watch the night time tv or read the papers so i got to know of this tv program only when i saw quite a large queue lining up outside suntec city one day. it looked interesting so went around to kpo a bit and asked my family and friends about it. but didn't think it will cause any huge sensation, partially cos singapore idol was quite a failure considering the fact that the runner up couldn't sing and only got the runner up position cos his fans think that he has style, which i don't concur..

then i found out that jia's good friend joined the competition tooand even got in to the top three for guys, so i became more interested in it, and watched the program when i'm free. the contestants on the whole were quite ok on the whole, some are quite talented or have potential while others make up with their looks for wat they lack in their singing skills.. then the most surprising point in the competition (at that point in time but something more surprising happened at the end of the whole program) was when a visually handicapped person entered the top 24 of the competition. for me, it was not much about the surprise that a visually handicapped person went in cos he did sang well, but that he had the courage to enter and face the challenges of the music and media industry that surprised me. and it then turned into a form of respect for him, for his courage, and unexpectedly his optimisim about life and the self confidence that he potray.

at first i thot that it will be quite a simple competition program for it was quite apparent that some had more talent and skills than the rest of the contestants, thus i assume that they will be easily recognised by the general public and vote for cos they are really good, and that the competition will be quite predictable till the final moment when the top gal and guy will pit against each other. i was wrong. amazingly, some lousy contestants managed to stick on till the later parts of the program while other talented contestants were being kicked out or almost gotten kicked out quite early on in the program.

these sometimes made me wonder if the program was rigged.

for reason no. 1 being that talented ppl who should be supported by the public cos they are good, were kicked out so early on in the program, suspect that this is to cause excitement amongst the viewers so that they will have more urgency to call and support their fav contestants.

reason no. 2 was that the voting thru sms and calling has a charge of 60 cents each that is quite expensive in my opinion. so this may be translated into the possibility that rigging was done so that the tv company can earn extra cash from the program.

reason no. 3 was quite debated by singaporean, presence of the visually handicapped person thru out the whole show and even into the grand finals where he eventually won the competition. alright.. i agree that he is quite good but i think that the other finalist, kelly, is much better.

reason no. 4 being that during the finals, the charge for voting suddenly jumped from the usual 60 cents to a whooping 2 dollars!! so obvious that they are trying to earn tv viewers' money, and the 2 dollars charge wasn't made very clear by the hosts or the program itself.. i just happend to see it when it was flashed at the bottom of the screen, and seriously.. the font's not big.


wanted to say more but am lazy.. and the papers in singapore has said enuf so.. i shall just stop here. but one final comment for this. very glad that kelly won second place cos she gets to sign contract with universal music, a better record company compared to the winner's record company, which is play music.

i must say this!!

girls!! please seat more properly when you are wearing skirts! especially if you are wearing a short skirt!

i've been told a million times that i must seat properly, the reasons that were always given by the 'very helpful people' were that, girls should sit properly and it will look very ugly. BUT they didn't tell me how disgusted people will feel if u seat with you legs opened while wearing a skirt with them seeing wat's inside and they didn't tell me that even if u seat with you legs quite closed, people can see wat's inside if u are wearing a short skirt. and pls, i'm not even taking about mini skirts here.. if they did, i would have taken them more seriously!

now fretfully recalling the limited no. of times that i have worn skirt to school and trying to see if i had seated properly during those times..

the reason for the above post was because a girl that was in my afternoon tutorial, who was seated facing me, zou3 guang1.. i can plainly see the colour of her underwear! worst of all was that, there was a guy that was sitting right beside me!!! and yar.. it made me very uneasy as i have no where to place my vision upon except my paper and i am totally embarrassed for her..