oh no.. i have just realised that i have let my mum's words get into me..
girl who will look into the mirror and say, 'hey! that's a pretty girl there! quite good looking huh?!' is gone... the only thing i see now in the mirror is the imperfect, plain, fat me.. sigh..
why did it happen? i have always warned myself from believing and taking other's opinions seriously especially the negative ones.. but look wat happened? they all got into my stupid brain that just won't shut these things out.....
maybe.. maybe i have been harbouring these thots in my head all along.. maybe subconsciouly i have also been saying and believing that i am not good enuf, i am not good looking, no one would want me, no one wants to be my friend, i will never have ppl who will love and treasure me, i will never have happiness...
i don't know anymore.. when i am down and out.. all these thots will come and huant me, come and tempt me to believe that my life is doomed to be a lonely and unfulfilled one.. i would not know the end.. only time will tell..
but i really hope that i am a great person that i sometimes think i am, though egoistic. i hope that i can be the nice, good friendly, cheerful, optimistic person that ppl see in me. i want to be pretty. i want to be loved. ....is that too greedy?
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