it's been almost six months... and i think i still wish that it was a stupid joke gone wrong..

april fools have come and passed... yet... no one came up to me and say 'april fools.. u've been had..'

i suppose i have to do something about it... i hate loose ends... and i still rem how i felt about not tying up the last one.. still haunts me till today.. and it has been wat? five? almost six yrs?

i don't want to have to go about avoiding a person again cos i can't bring myself to tie up a loose end... if i don't break this bad habit of running away when i don't want to deal with things, i fear i'll be a fugitive my whole life.. running away from things i don't dare to deal with..

i need courage.. but i'm not sure there is any to begin with to summon it..



gosh... i'm so useless..