the old pattern of interactions no longer match the new thots behind the faces... it feels like we are all trying to remain the same around one another... but yet at the same time end up revealing that we have changed.. there is certain awkwardness in the conversations and of course... the conversations mostly revolve around other ppl... other things...

i feel disconnected.. but yet i don't want to give in to 'need' to behave like once a upon a time so that we can all remain stuck in that period in time.... so i chose silence as my partner for most part of the time.... i don't think i can keep up with this any longer... i can't see any pt in it anymore... i'm not a person who lives in the past... i look forward to the future and enjoy the present... memories are nice... but they are meant to stay in the past... so that new memories can be created...

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i have often wondered... am i so unsatisfied with alot of interactions with people cos i have found the kind of interaction that feed my need the most... or is it cos the interactions of late are..... just... unsatisfactory...