lying is a habit. a habit formed from young. cos the truth hurts, in more ways than one. think canes, belts and wat nots. heh.

people always say that one's mother will know when one is lying. i have no idea if it is true, but i know that the person who knows best is yourself. you may even believe your own lies, but deep down you will know.

i believe that lies haunt ppl who say them, they are always ready to jump on you when you least expect it, always wondering when someone would find out. but then again, i've seen enuf ppl lie to start to think that only ppl who has a heart, a conscience, would be haunted by the lies they say.

but then again, who am i to say wat's in the mind of others?

for me, i am quite surprised i still lie, considering there is nothing much to lie about and the consequence of not lying is not as great as it seemed when i was young. but i guess lying just kicks in like an automatic reaction, a self defence mechanism that one activates when one perceive danger which is activated on a more primal level than the higher consciousness. hence i always find myself lying before i could catch myself from it and tell the truth. i guess it's sort of confusing. it's like seeing myself lying and only realising that i am after saying it and wondering to self why did i do that. but it seems inevitable, like you can't not move your hand away if you touch something really hot.

i really need to pause and think before i react, half the time i regret my actions, well, or my words.