this whole thing is dumb.. totally have no idea of how it got started and how it ended up like wat it is now.

it's like walking along the pavement one minute and falling into a manhole that i didn't see.

i don't know wat to do. totally lost.

why did it happen? was it really politics? i don't know.

all i know is that, i don't like politics and i don't play it. i meant things as jokes and if u can't take it, i'm sorry. i don't like to control ppl cos i have a dad that loves to do that and i know how it feels. i don't like it when things are not said or clarified with ppl who are involved in it.

if you don't like it, say it. if you don't say, how i know?

it's not like i'm unreasonable or wat. if ppl had said, 'you know, wat you said hurts', i would have apologised. if ppl have said, 'you know, we can handle this, we'll look for u for help if we need it', and i would have backed off.

but the thing is no one said anything. everything is just second guessing and it is so dumb to be involved in all this.

my life is simple, but for the pass few weeks, it turned complicated and i don't like it.

it is a waste of time and energy and i don't feel happy. i feel like puking.

this is the first time ever that i have jumped into a pile of shit that i don't like and i feel like climbing out of it even though things are not completed.

i don't know how long i can last in this situtation. i'm drowning and i don't know wat i can do. helpless.