i think i'm halfway back on track to be wat i used to be like..

at least this time was a ARGH!!!! then soon after... grumbling to two ppl and ranting to another offline window.. and another trying to cheer me up.. i feel totally fine..

wat is done, cannot be undone.. i can repeat the scenario over and over again and experience the anger and distress over and over again.. but.. so wat.. so why not just let it go? and let go i did.. it is a thing of the past and there is no need to waste energy on something that is already done..

i prob to stop my compulsive complaining.. a behavior acquired this year or so.. i used to be able to work out my irritations/frustrations etc on my own.. or they disappear faster than i can deal with them.. haha.. but now.. with the availability of ppl who know the reason behind wat i feel.. i tend to unload on them.. which is not a very good thing i suppose... complaining or ranting is a negative energy.. it tires ppl and puts additional distress for ppl.. so... yes... relearning to self contain and self resolve issues.. i know i can.. just that it's so tempting to find someone that understands..

ah well.. not a short road to revert myself back to the person i used to be.. yes, once changed a person can never be truly be the same ever again.. but i believe that bad habits can be kicked.. and that the way i treat things or ppl can be much better though my mind that has been opened cannot be closed again..

another phase in life.. another learning..