feeling sick already?

haha, had enuf of the answers that are given by stereotyping people with just a few responses to the questions which were submitted?

people have told me that all this don't work and that they are just giving generalised answers that most people can identify with. but still, i would like to believe that they are true.. sometimes i guess, these questions and answers help us find out parts of us that we have not noticed before.

so here are some that i believe more closely describes me, though some are not, but i hope someday they will.

another reason: i like the pics

my phrase..

"Awake, yet never truly alive, I seek
valuation beyond reality"

Life is unfullfilling for you, and you aren't very fond of it. What you like is your own imaginative world, which can be your daydreams, stories you write or anything similar. You always prefer that before the actual life.

To people you come off as quite lonesome, and you may wish you had more friends, but you are more of a hoper than someone who takes action. That is how you remain lonely. Or maybe you just don't find anyone who you can relate to.

Inside you feel empty, like you are missing something important that you can't quite put a finger on what it is. Somehow you wish to be swept away from the normality and led into something extraordinary. This has yet to happen, and you keep on feeling dissapointed with the little that life has to offer. At least you continue to express yourself through art/writing/poems/daydreaming.


What is Your Phrase?
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my power..

Your power is: Clairvoyance

Explanation: Your power is that you can look into the future and see what is coming. How far and long you can look is all depending on your skill level. This can, as all powers, be used in both evil and good. Even if it may seem like a boring ability it is a huge responsibility for the carrier, becase they are constantly tempted with doing the wrongs deeds (e.g. cheat on a test). It takes high morals to not be brought down with it.

Therefore you fit with this power quite well. You take responsibility and do what is the right thing to do. This does not make you a saint, since you're only human after all. But it makes a trustworthy person and you are loyal to camrades and/or team mates.

In school you were probably a good student. If you were social varies from person to person, but most clairvoyant people tend to prefer their own company or that of close friends and family. That is because you are wise and knows how to treasure the reliable in your life, since you know popularity can be a false element.

You are also not that big on taking risks and prefer what is already explored. That is because you don't like suprises, they can turn out bad and then you won't be in control.

Negative aspects: Since you're always doing the right thing and being trustworthy all the time you can become frustrated. Also, all that you carry on your shoulders may stress you
out. You need to relax to be in good mental shape.

What Power is Compatible With You?
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my killer type..

You are a protector.

Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes against everything you belive in. It's not that you are a coward, but your ideals and morals wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do the righteous things, get the bad guys and do it all legally. But just because you don't kill doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is what you do.

You use your brain and your strenght to do honourable deeds and protect people you know and love. If an evil guy is going to take over the world soon, it's you who will get involved. You hate watching innocents suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what they deserve.

You are probably also happy and optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And the friends you usually make are true ones.

Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Lewis
Facial expression: Smile


What Type of Killer Are You?
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wat makes me sad..

You are sad because of your fear


Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
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wat word represents me..

Your word is: Brooding.

You are a true thinker and often try to figure out the meaning of life, why we are all here etc. You may not be so social, and often think twice before acting but those thoughts you have in your mind never stop flowing in. Sometimes you can be so concentrated you forget about other things that you have to do.


What Word Represents You?
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my element..

Your element is Light.

Your heart is pure and shining with love. You believe in the goodness of those around you and give almost everyone a smile. You are not the kind to hide your happiness and tend to smile all day long, both in and out. But when sadness hits you, you become very devastated and may be upset for quite some time.

What you need in your life is friends, friends who will love you unconditionally, like you love them. But you have a naive nature and don't always notice when someone is trying to hurt you. Some would say you are oblivious to mean people, which makes you an easy target. However, your true friends will probably be there for you and save you.

In school you are either the popular one or the little weird one. It all depends if "the higher people" find your caring side irritating or not. Nevertheless, you have a bubbly personality and are social. Big partys may not be your thing since you want bonding time with your friends, so slumber-partys fit you more. You like the happy things in life and like everyone else to be as happy as you are.


What is your element? [with pics + detailed answeres]
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wat is my soul..

Your soul is caring.

Other people are your concern, even if you don't know them. If you see a person trip you worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones first and you're very mature. When someones sick you're nurturing and always try to help family and friends when failure strikes them.

You can be called the motherly one, if you are in a group of people, which doesn't have to be bad. Love is something that's already in you and you have a lot to give whether you believe it or not. Your friends probably love you very much and come to when they need help since you're reliable. People can feel secure withyou and generally like you.


How is your soul? [pics]
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wise quote that fits me..

Your wise quote is: "Be kind to unkind people, they probably need it the most" by Ashleigh Brilliant.

You try to look beyond apperance, try to give people second chances and are probably very kind.

Understanding is your biggest personality trait, and those you can see through should be grateful. If they aren't already.

You detest narrow minded people, because they can't see what's really there. Facades is not your thing and you strive to always be who you really are.


What wise quote fits you? [pics]
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how i see life..

Life is all about balance. Darkness can't be without light, and light can't be without darkness.

You see everything through different angeles to gain perspective over situations. You act rather rational and people can find you
stiff and/or emotionless due to this.

Life is not really that good to you, yet it's not so bad. Like everything else, you need to balance it in order to find peace.


How do you see life?
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well~, ok

alright... i admit, my dad is not all that lousy. it's just that the way he show his affection for us is very different from the type of affection that we need. well, think this the problem that most parents face bah.

i really do appreciate that he took heart to fetch me to school all these years and the unique way that he show that he cares. i shall try my best to make sense out of his actions, to see that he is doing it out of care for the family.

he fetched me to school today.
it was raining.


however, he should learn to trust people more.

he didn't believe that the sheltered carpark that i pointed him to, can be entered to drop me off. just because it says 'staff season parking'.



another thing. i brought carrot cake that is put the usual transparent plastic bag to school today. but my dad insisted that i wrap the plastic bag that contains the carrot cake with a paper towel.

he thinks that it will make my bag oily if it is not wrapped.

the new skin

yes, the new skin is up. quite like the skin.. though i think the window is alittle too small and the links are too close to the window... thanks to cai for her help of course

fiddled around with the html of the template, changing colours, font size and all. the longer i fiddled the 'clearer' the html seems to me. great to know that i have not returned my html knowledge to the computer club.. hah.

played too much with this.. haven't finish a 26pg journal article that is due tmr because of this.. guess i have to read it during lec tmr..

an incident

woke up this morning with a start.

my dad came in and told me something happened to ma. didn't know whether it was the grogginess that i felt from waking up so suddenly and early in the morning or that my dad did not articulate the situation well enuf for me to comprehend, but he sounded as if something akin to the sky falling down happened to ma. so i jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen in time to see my mum puking into a small pail.

all i could say was that i was relieved.


oh, and i have decided to add another not very nice trait to my dad's list again.

after the above episode, he practically yelled at me when he couldn't find his handphone in his rush to fetch ma to see the doctor. he also made a very irrational suggestion, that i should accompany them to see the doctor and he'll fetch me to school from there when (1) it was almost 7.30am, with me having a class at 9am, (2) i accompanied ma downstairs in sleeping clothes, (3) i have not brushed my teeth, washed my face and bathe, (4) my school bag is still upstairs and (5) i have not packed for school yet.

conclusion is that he cannot handle sudden events or situations.

yes i know that he is very concerned about ma, but sometimes, there is a need to be calm and collected when critical situations occur.


anyway, the above episode got me thinking.

i was wondering, while on my way to school, wat if something really bad did happen to my ma and that she had died after the morning's episode. i realised that, if she have died, i would have been so devastated. yes, devastated is the word that i will describe myself if something had happened to her. thinking about that possiblity even brought tears into my eyes. i've always wondered if i can feel so strongly, my mum wondered too, she sometimes says that i probably could even be cold blooded enuf to feel happy during her funeral when she dies. well, now we know that will not happen i guess and i have finally shown that i could be as warm blooded as anyone. not that i want to prove this point though. i guess that i just have not realised how much i care for the things/people that are around in my life. maybe i have buried my feelings so deeply that even i forgot about it.

i don't know how it started but this is where it ends. now, stop burying and start digging, hoping someday that my feelings will flow freely again. in abundance or maybe not over.


and to mum, though i don't say it out loud, i do love you and cherish you. you are my bestest friend and i'm glad that u are my mother, cos i would not have wanted another.

i need to:

• collect my check and bank it in (done)
  
• buy my food and health module's textbook
  
• finish reading all my textbook till the chapter that the lecturers stop teaching
• prepare my tutorial
  
• find info for group project
  
• go for group project meeting
  
• source for contacts that are needed for my event organising biz that is starting up soon
• go for meetings for my biz
  
• find customers for my biz
  
• pack my table
• pack my wardrobe
• do house chore
• be a good daughter, student, relative, businessman and friend

just realised that i can't put a (done) for all of the pts above.. opps

yes, pyschology

a joke for myself in the previous post.. a little like that advert showing a boy with ver lousy tennis skills, attempting to hit the balls that were being shot at him, with his father listening to the boy's coach in the background. the coach was saying things like the boy wasn't good enuf, and that his skills were too lousy to become one of the top tennis players in future. but wat the boy's father heard was only that his son was superb and that he will become a great tennis player in future. he did it by partially blocking out wat the coach was saying..

ohh.. and i just realise that this is related to psychology too! haha.. yup.. that's wat i love about psychology, it is everywhere and anywhere. where brains tick, there lies psychology.

i have no idea why i love this science, and Y-E-S, this is a science although the National University of Singapore doesn't know that! and classifying it under arts faculty is unforgivable in my opinion. but hey, who the hack cares about my opinions? but i guess it may be cos i realised that i am very unaware of myself and the surroundings that i started to be interested in the underlying interactions between ppl, interested in the portrayal of image by others. and thus, this urgent need to find out who i am and wat others are like, propelled me towards psych..

though regrettably i may not futher my degree in psych after securing a bachelor degree of ARTS~ partially due to my lousy grades and partially due to the very narrow scope of study that NUS is offering, i am very grateful to have been able to study this wonderful field and to have met ppl who are also extremely passionate about psych..

nobody will know.. maybe one day i'll have the chance to study psych again after this.

but before that..... i'll make sure i'll pile up enuf money and brush up on my english so that i can go overseas to pursue my Degree in Psychology to replace my Bachelor of Arts. and maybe i might even get a Ph.D.! if by then i'm not too old to do that

i think i'm falling in love

it started off as an infatuation.. a book
it was in a library when i started to take notice. of that section
then, before i knew it,
i kept going there again and again to see.. to borrow similar books
my curiosity was immense. about that subject

finally after my 'A' levels,
i pursued on in my uni.. taking it up as my major
now, i have clearly fallen in love.
in love with..
Psychology

i feel like a thousand years old....

gosh! wanted to blog on tues night but didn't cos when i came up of my kickboxing class, i almost didn't have enuf energy to walk myself to the bus stop to take the bus home.. now i know wat it feels like being a jelly fish. couldn't seen to walk properly, trying very hard to concentrate while walking so that my legs will not collapse on me half way thru...

AND... the worse thing of all is that, since wed morning when i wake up, i feel like i am living in the body of a very old woman! mind u.. this is not some hungry ghost festival's ghost story. every movement i made caused my body's muscle to scream out in pain.. from getting out of bed, to brushing teeth YES!!! even brushing teeth!, to climbing down the staircase, sitting down, carrying my books, lifting my arms, lying down on the bed and even laughing!!

well.. i guess i can't blame anyone else besides me since i'm the one that hasn't been exercising since end of P.E. in my jc days.. moreover, the kickboxing instructor did forewarn us that this will happen, so it comforts me to know that it is unaviodable and that the rest of the ppl in that class are most probably suffering together with me! muahahha

seriously, i'm glad that i have taken my first step towards including exercise into my life and i really do quite enjoy the after effects of exercising. cos i really do feel much more refreshed after it and have this sense of achievement that i have finally spent some of my time to exercise and all.. yup..

praying not literally that my ache will go away when i wake up tmr. though i don't think it will

wet and cold

he day started with heavy raining..
too heavy for my liking.
shoes wet, jacket wet and hair's wet.
but.. hahha.. the hair part is cos i bathed before i went to school.
so the conclusion is........ late for school! shit!
sigh.. actually.. i was late cos i took too long a time to bathe and get ready for school =p

today is a long day for me.
lectures all the way from 10am to 6pm then kickboxing from 7-9pm..
hope i don't die at the end of the day..

a necessity in life: friends

spent my whole afternoon looking at bolgskins.. yes.. i am too generous when it comes to using/wasting time on things that are not of much importance.. this is wat i dislike most about myself.

anyway, found a very nice skin and downloaded it. but later found out that i do not know how to change it to that skin.. pengz.. to think that i was from computer club in my secondary school days and have gotten a cert in html then.. all in all, a disgrace to my school's com club..

good thing that i have something called friends, though my parents and my bro like to say i have none cos i (1) always stay at home, (2) they don't think ppl will like to make friends with a person with a behavior like mine, (3) even if i do show that i have friends, they seem to only be a handful...etc etc.. ahahha.. that's wat they like to say when they tease me. i know that they mean no harm but sometimes i will find myself uncounsciously thinking whether wat they say is true and that i really didn't have any friends. but that's only sometimes, only during times when i'm down and out. most of the time i'm just a overly confident person that believes that i have alot of good friends and i can make tonnes of friends if i want to. no sweat at all. ;)

oh yes.. about the blogskin and my friend.. very glad that cai came online when i was having trouble with the codes and symbols on the html.. i just have to ask her and readily agreed to help me with my problem!! how great can friends be? i know no bounds.. yup, and don't have to add in the fact that cai always likes to help ppl and cares for us this bunch of friends.. gosh, i'm so glad to have made friends with caring, helpful and fun ppl! haha.. i hope wat they say about the birds of a feather flock together theory is true...

haha, yes this is me bu yao lian-ing again.. i love bhb-ing.. at least i have the chance to believe that i was wonderful even though the time frame is so little..

no choice, ppl just like to pull others out of their wonderland

for me and me alone

this will be the blog for myself..
not one friend, family or aquaintance will know of this blog from me.
i will write wat i think, belive and feel.
no considerations will be given to ppl who may be hurt by wat i write.
no one that i know will judge me for wat i'll be writing here.
i am free.
so beware..


and pls.... even if u know me, don't spoil this wonderful dream of mine