Thursday, November 10, 2005.

"i am never the favourite, the popular, the smartest, the talented, the most attractive, nor am i the most hated, the naughtiest, haughty, evil, destroyer, prankster. i am bland. as bland as water can be. and my life was too."

"how i wish my life was exciting, extraordinary.. i don't mind that it may suck like hell or there are many ups and downs in my life. some may think that i am naive, or even dumb maybe. but i don't care. at least i would have had some experiences that will be deeply imprinted in my memory, giving me guidance, shaping and defining me."

"it would be nice if someday, before we die, we can get to see a repeat telecast of wat we have done this lifetime.. to evaluate, to rejoice, to regret or even just to understand wat we have gone through from a third person's perspective.."

"the ppl that i have met, those that i remember and some that i had forgotten. the person that i was like, how i have grown and change, or didn't change. who and wat shaped me. have i done good enough, or could i have done more. all these i am very interested to know.. a video of my life"

"how long will i live? i am not sure, but i want to make the best out of it. i don't want to leave without putting up a good fight, to leave a mark on this earth"


parts of a post i posted then..

sometimes.. i think i hate getting wat i wished for.. maybe ppl shouldn't wish for things cos... getting them never seem as nice as imagining having it..

but if u were to ask if i've regretted doing wat i've done... i'm not sure.. but i'll definitely regret if i've hurt someone.. other than that? no.. i won't regret.. cos i've learnt alot from them.. maybe it is the pt in my life where i am suppose to learn them.. a journey.. not an end..

need to thank alot of ppl who stuck with me thru the periods of storm.. being understanding and accommodating.. i haven't been the best of friends to be with.. yet u are there when i needed someone.. so.. thank you..

where have i been the past year? have i forgotten who i am?

finding me..