anger management

from observation, when ppl encounter a situation which irritates them, there are usually 4 types of responses..

1. get angry and get aggressive

2. get angry and get passive aggressive

3. get angry and extract self from situation permanently to not face with similar situation

4. get angry and actively seek a resolution

well.. there is another type of response where one see past ones' irritation and go straight to finding a solution.. an enlightened way of behaving which is a rare occurrence.. definitely not the usual response..

i have to admit, most of the time i end up getting angry and react passive aggressively.. occasionally when i decide to be more mature... i will be under type 4...

it's not that easy to choose 4.. cos ppl tend to want to strike back or run away... fight or flight...

i see alot of type 3 and 4 cos i always happen to be in female company..

if one is logical, one should think about wat kind of result one wants and then react accordingly to get that result..

for eg. A bosses B around at work even though A has no right to.. B gets irritated..

most ppl will endure and as the frequency of it occurring increases gets angry and start to get passive agressive... hoping that A will realise that they are unhappy and stop bossing them around.. when that does not happen B gets even more upset, end up being very resentful and continue with passive aggression or they decide to quit and find another job...

wat B wants is actually for A to stop bossing B around... but... most of the time B don't actively do something abt it... they tend to get angry and stay angry.. and get angrier when the bossing continues...

we learn in physics that an object in motion stays in motion if there are not other force acting on it... i think it applies to ppl too... if u getting angry don't stop the bossing... continuing to get angry or even more angry will not move you towards to result that u want... so why not do something different about it and see if it will get you the result that u want? anyway, staying pissed didn't help, did it?

sometimes resolution need not result in confrontation with the other person... just some creativity to help one steer clear of similar situations..

someone once told me... you cannot control other ppl's behavior, you can only control your own reaction to it... you can choose to stay angry or u can choose to do something about it..

life's about making choices..



sad to say.. most of the time i forget i need to think about wat result i want... i just end up feeling like i want to stay angry.. lol.... stubborn and childish... but i like to indulge myself sometimes...