i received a news that i think anyone would at least have some reaction to.. but i felt nothing..

i wonder if i will ever receive a news that is shocking.. not that i foresaw the news that came.. it was a time bomb that was waiting to happen..

just..

it makes me wonder yet again if i have the capacity to feel any emotions.. why i don't get upset.. why i don't feel worried..

my mind and heart's so calm as if i didn't even get the news.. it's scary.. i think i'm scary.. like some heartless creature..

how is it that i can feel more for a social construct than for human beings in flesh and blood.. i have no idea..