ah~~~.... another day with less than 6 hrs of sleep... the dark circles are getting worse... groanz..

omg.. i feel stupid.. hahhah... damn blur lar... good thing only sharon witnessed it..

i have been wondering for the past few days, how come i have so little money in my account for driving.. so i went to check the balance and transaction today.. i found out that i booked 2 slots for practical and i saw these dates next to it and they were 25 jan and 28 jan.. so i was like.. omgomgomg.. how come i book for practical and i didn't go.. some more it was two lessons... 100 over bucks... i almost wanted to kill myself...

then... it suddenly hit me.. hey.. there is something wrong with the 'bill', how come the date on the practical is on a sat but the price was a non peak price... so i went to double check and realised that the date that was displayed there was actually the day i booked for the lesson.. not the day of the lesson... hahahhahaa... my lessons are in feb... wahahahhaha.. damn dumb lar... wat a clown..

ah well... one of the few times i feel great after being so dumb... wahahah... at least i didn't wasted any money... i swear i have become more paranoid after starting to learn driving... i have this constant fear that i will miss a lesson... and like my memory is not so perfect recently... must be the lack of use of it these few months...

i BLAME the stupid episode on the lack of sleep and too much sun from the 1hr morning walk... of course.. nothing is ever my fault... my ego needs alot of protection.. it's fragile.. haha..

____

hey cheryl.. BIG HUGZ... i'm not good at comforting.. but if u need hug, u know where to find me... and if u want distraction... i can entertain you... how about that? hugz....

i finally finally finally explored the bicycle tracks that went around toh guan and chinese garden... one direction leads to jurong central park and the other direction leads to bukit batok nature park..

it was quite refreshing gg for a walk.. but i always go with wrong footwear.. ah well.. blisters will be my best friends the next few days... almost had to drag my feet home...

shall explore more tmr..

i don't know how ppl can pretend that some things didn't happen but i can't...

when things happen.. i categorise them either in the i mind or i don't mind category.. there is no pretend it didn't exist category... if i don't mind... then... erm.. i don't mind.. hahahha... but if i mind.. then.. either i resolve it or run away from it.. hahha... but there is still no pretend it never happened response...

so yes... i'm still trying to figure out wat to do with things i can't run away from or resolve.... sigh.. troublesome world... no wonder i'm leaning towards the solitude side more often nowadays... there are lesser things to confront when i'm with myself...

_____
ignoring the sentence about solitude.. today's fun... hahha... i do miss talking to alot of ppl... i miss the table and the ppl.... even though it's very different now... ah~~ i miss the old table.. but i still manage to catch ppl and chat with them... despite having to hunt them down at diff venues..

my diaphram is hurting from all the laughing i had the whole evening/night.. body and i really should start our own reality tv or something... and i believe sharon would be our number one loyal fan.. hahha... won't u so miss us and our rubbish when u are overseas? (u really should consider paying for our budget air tix to aussie, it's really worth it!) haahah...

i will miss sharmanda... shall keep reminding myself it is 10mths... i don't see some friends for more than 2yrs.. so i guess 10mths' ok.. hahaha... have fun there! remember wat to bring back for me!! hahahahha.. don't come back if u can't find any.. hahahahahahahha...

ok.. i think i gg gg gone liao.. another time...

the bad thing about chinese new year is that there is a free flow of soft drinks and tidbits..

it's easy to not eat them when they are not within reach.. and i no longer have the habit of snacking on them regularly.. but new years and outings... yar.. not gd..

need to start exercising..

spring cleaning is rather therapeutic...

throwing away things helps.. and i guess packing stuff bring some sense of order and control into one's life..

i believe i am predisposed to be a clean/neat freak.. i like the squeaky clean feeling of things i touch.. and the orderly look of my things, no matter how temporary it usually is.. haha..

i officially hate the world i live in.. maybe not hate but definitely a high degree of dislike.. hence.. from today onwards, i am gg to create a world consisting of... me.. getting a job... my books.. and tv drama.. maybe my blog..

i will not be in contact anyone.. if u want to contact/find/meet me, u have to be either very sincere about it.. or.. that it is urgent..

also.. i have been chasing after or been asking for some things from some ppl.. if you see this, pls pass them to me ASAP.. i really am very tired of chasing for them..

daphne: things i need for ROS

chin han: things i need for ROS

nott: my cog textbook, shawl and video when u finish watching them

and.. any of the ppl who are not on the above list sees this, if u feel like being nice and sweet to me, u can help pass the msg along to the above ppl.. i really appreciate it..

if i owe u anything.. find me and ask for them (really sorry if i have forgotten), will pass them to u asap too..

chinese new year is coming, i am pretty sure everyone wants to tie up loose ends.. so.. lets help each other along..

AH!!!! don't like to write/talk about myself.. don't like self praise.. feels weird..

me dislikes interviews and application forms..

hmm.. shall see if i can find name for this phobia.. hahah

there are some things in life that you wish you can run far far away from and never have to face.. some issues that you don't want to touch or even resolve.. but they don't seem to want to let go of you..

i just want to be happy.. be in my own little world with ppl who appreciate me for who i am and not be always compared to some ideal that is stuck one's mind... am i not good enuf? why can't ppl just be happy for who i am?

i can never be perfect.. there are no such ppl around.. can't you just stop and look around and see that hey, maybe i am not as bad as you see me to be and that you should be grateful of wat you have?

ppl should not have kids if they can't give unconditional love to the children they bring into the world.. i feel that's the only criteria one needs to have a kid... to have a kid grow up without it is the most cruel thing to be done to them..

sigh.. i hate it when i'm oversensitive, bitter and irrational.. too much reaction.. no thot.. just the blind hatred.. the bitterness.. this is wat years of built up do to ppl.. scary.. i don't want to be controlled by my past.. i want to run far away from it.. yet it's a part of me..

one of the few things that i have yet learnt to let go...

hmm.. ok lar.. i guess today i am a meanie.. so yar.. body very poor thing today..

i give u hugs here k? BUG HUGZ.. give u permission to invert all the mean stuff i say.. hahha.. and since u covet for the title so much.. i declare u to most influential person during my uni life.. hahahha.. enuf?


anyway.. something to amuse my dear already-no-so-loyal-due-to-my-erratic-posting readers.. and.. to protect the identity of the poor souls in the below story from eternal humiliation, from now on they will be called A and B..

senario - convo on a bus
A exclaimed: you are my 开心果!! (my happy medium in chinese.. i think.. but in english it is pistachio)
B replied: isn't that edible?
A: i will eat you up so that you'll be in my stomach and we will never ever be separated.

hahaha... good thing it's a convo b/w two sleep deprived friends.. imagine it's a convo b/w a bf and a gf... that would win the world most unromantic quote ever.. hahahhahaha..

some Einstein quotes.. for all..

this one's definitely for me..
"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."

for sharon..
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

this one.. nott would love...
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

totally agree with this..
"One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."

something to think about..
"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

*nods*
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding."
"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."

"without confusion, there is no new conclusion.."

so true..

Mother 你只是一個名

從小的時候
你疼愛他們
將他當成心肝
疼愛如命
現在是為了什么
你會躺在這兒?
一世人艱苦
沒有听到一声感謝

從小的時候
用性命來拖
希望孩子
可以健康長大
現在是為了什么
你會躺在這兒?
沒人來管Mother
是死是活


原來Mother 你只是一個名
Oh, Mother.. 為何你的命那么壞
當初你最疼愛的心肝寶貝
為何將你踢來踢去
變成不要的東西
____
since tintin started the touching song from money no enough 2....

here's another one.. but this one is very sad..

it's in traditional chinese.. anyone who wants me to change it to simplified chinese.. tag me.. i lazy to do it if no one wants..

_______

for nabs... see i love u so much.. happy? hahahhahaha

Mother - You are just a name

From young, you dote on them

You treat them like your treasures and love them as much as your life

But now, how did you end up lying here?

A life time of hardship yet never hearing a word of thanks

From young, you use your life to raise them

Hoping that they will grow up to be healthy and strong

But now, how did you end up lying here?

With no one caring if Mother is dead or alive

So, I see.. Mother is just a name..

Oh, Mother.. Why do you have such a bad life

The children that you once treated as treasures

How did they end up kicking you around

Treating you like something that they don’t want

Dido - Closer
So leave your taxi waiting
And turn and close my door
And sit back down where you were sitting
A little closer then before

When you look that serious
It just makes me want you more
And I've been meaning to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, the better I feel

And yes I know you're nervous
Never seen you so unsure
You haven't touched your food tonight
And you're drinking more and more

And there's no need to hurry
Take you're time I'll still be here
And I've been meaning to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around, the better I feel

The closer you get, the better you see
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around, the closer you get
The better I feel, the better I feel

We've been circling for time baby
We're coming down to land tonight
The wait is over and now it's easy
Everything is fine

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around, the better I feel

The closer you get, the better you see
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around, the closer you get
The better I feel

today is a good day! haha..

went for pjc open house.. i feel old... pj is 10 yrs old already... the teachers look older than they use to.. the kids look younger..

finally bought my poison lozenges... hahha.. anyone with sore throat come find me! and chin cao! nice to drink.. yum yum..

and.... i found my amber pendent wor!!!! hahaha.. in..... the dryer... i guess i had put it in my pocket and forgotten to take it out... =X

now i so feel like tearing the washing machine and dryer apart to see if i can find my the other pendent.... and.. while doing it.. earn some extra cash.. hahaha.. so many coins in them lar..

omg.. whole body aching.. wat's wrong with me.. groanz... plus the irritating wisdom teeth acting up again.. sian...


side pt.. alot of ham at home! can eat until i puke..